There’s an old expression that goes “If you want a friend … get a dog.” I have a new saying: “If you want a life … get a Porsche.”

I’ve never been impressed by those cool-daddy, bling-dripping Vegas-types who sip Bombay martinis and talk about their “Porsh.” Truth be told, ever since the auto delivery company came and pried the 2008 Porsche Boxster S test vehicle from my cold, gnarled hands I have been scouring pawn shops for some Tom Cruise Ray-Bans and Mr. T gold chain cast-offs because now I want to be one of those “Porsh” people.

Maybe not to that extent, mind you, but I haven’t been as impressed with myself in years as I was during the week of road testing a ruby red metallic Porsche (it’s pronounced porsh’ uh – not porsh) Boxster S. As if to make the joy complete, the weather cooperated nearly 100 percent so I was able to leave the top down the entire time – greatly easing ingress and egress. It’s not an easy vehicle for outsized people to smoothly get in and out of without benefit of a crane.

Porsche has a history of producing legendary open-top vehicles. Among two of the most famous were the 356 Speedster and 550 Spyder. The Boxster and Boxster S are now charged with the responsibility of carrying on that tradition. Though sharing design cues with other members of the Porsche family, the Boxster is unique because it resembles no other vehicle on the highway and is distinct from others in its family.

Both Boxster and Boxster S share the same engine concept: a water-cooled, mid-mounted, horizontally opposed “Boxer” six-cylinder engine with four overhead cams, four valves per cylinder, variable-intake valve timing and life control and hydraulic valve play compensation. However, the Boxster’s engine is 2.7-liter and puts out 245 horsepower and 201 pounds-feet of torque while the Boxster S’s 3.4-liter engine produces 295 horsepower and 251 pound-feet of torque.

Both models can be ordered with a six-speed manual or Tiptronic S transmission but the regular Boxster has a five-speed manual as well. My advice? Get the six-speed manual. After all, this is a Porsche. Since my test vehicle was the Boxster S, I’ll confine this review to that specific model.

Curb weight is 2,987 pounds (3,075 with Tiptronic), wheelbase is 95.1 inches, overall length is 171.6 inches, height is 50.9 inches and width is 70.9 inches. There are even two trunks – the front one that’s 5.3 cubic-feet and the rear one that’s 4.6 cubic-feet.

If you’re really interested in fuel economy, Environmental Protection Agency estimates are 18 mpg in the city and 26 mpg on the highway (or 18/25 mpg with Tiptronic). Fuel capacity is 16.9 gallons, so you can be a long way from home before you have to fill up again. The Boxster uses premium unleaded fuel, but then again you wouldn’t expect a performance vehicle like this to run on vin ordinaire, would you?

Needless to say, Boxster exhibits tremendous performance. It goes where you aim it and God help your passenger if you have a muscle spasm. Suspension is independent, Porsche-optimized McPherson spring strut axle, wheels suspended on wishbones with trailing links, tie rods and struts, one conical spring per wheel, twin-tube gas-filled shocks and other advanced handling technologies. It comes standard with variable-ratio rack-and-pinion steering and a tight-turning radius of 36.4 feet.

Boxster’s brakes are four-wheel disc anti-lock brakes, cross-drilled rotors and four-piston monobloc aluminum calipers at all four wheels. Front brakes on the Boxster S are 12.52 inches and rear brakes are 11.77 inches. There is an optional Porsche ceramic composite brake.

Boxster S comes with 18-inch, forked, five-spoke wheels that are 8 inches wide in front and 9 inches wide in back. Tires are Z-rated 235/40 in front and 265/40 in the rear. To save weight (22 pounds worth) there is no spare, jack or tire-changing tools. Rather, it’s equipped with an electric air compressor and emergency tire sealant.

Whether you have to be air-lifted into the interior or are agile enough to easily slide in and out, the fun begins when you are situated behind the steering wheel. By the way, Boxster gives you a choice of three steering wheels – the standard three-spoke design, a smaller, optional sports wheel with contoured recesses for better control during dynamic driving and a wheel with the optional Porsche communications management system that has buttons to operate the telephone, audio and navigation systems.

The instrument cluster contains a large tachometer flanked by two smaller gauges. The vehicle’s speed is shown both in analog and digital. The Boxster S’s gauges have light gray faces and white LED readouts. Leather seats are comfortable and supportive and the Boxster S has a leather-covered center console storage box cover and leather-covered door pockets.

Two hidden cup holders are mounted behind a trim panel above the glove box that pops out when needed. There’s a reason they’re hidden. It’s a subliminal message to not use them. They’re not the most solid ones I’ve ever encountered. If you can’t multitask (drive and hold a drink container in your hand at the same time), then do one or the other.

As mentioned, this little scooter, uh, scoots. I’ve driven faster cars off the line but the looks you get when driving down the street makes you feel like you’ve knocked 3 seconds off your 0-60 time. It definitely is a head-turner.

There’s a lot of built-in safety and a host of options. Considering all the Boxster does and because it’s a Porsche, the cost is actually quite reasonable. Base price of the Boxster S is $55,700 with destination charges of $860. Extra-cost options on my test vehicle raised the bottom line to $61,380. It seems like a small price to pay for rewarding yourself for your labors and it is more rewarding than shelling out the same amount for midlife crisis therapy. After all, when your therapy is completed your midlife crisis may be gone but you’ll still have a Porsche.